Good Girls

Grace for the Good Girl; letting go of the try-hard life, could alternatively be called Grace for the Good Man, Good Employee, Good Pastor. Don't I know it! The scenario Emily Freeman describes is not foreign to those of us who try to live a good life. Our sense of justice is strong- we harbor the belief that "there should be reward for those who do good and punishment for those who don't" (103).
Someone once wondered about what kind of a pastor I could be because I don't have a "story" --no tragic past of drugs or cancer or poverty from which I had been rescued.  Rather, I am perceived as one of those "good girls."   I resonated with Freeman's observation that "when bad girls perform to get their needs me, they get in trouble.  When good girls perform to get the same thing, we get praise" (24).  We set expectations for ourselves, we strive to meet others' expectations, we keep our private struggles to ourselves.  This is the case for a lot of women, and it's doubly true for pastors.  No church wants a "needy" pastor, we pastors say to one another.
I should probably read this book every year.  I need to stop trying to be like Jesus (143) and simply trust Jesus to be himself through me.  That's grace.